1. Imagine being this little page boy and being like, “Oh, shit.”
  2. Alicent allowed herself exactly 5.7 seconds of grieving before beginning her coup.
  3. Oh, the handmaiden is sending a signal.
  4. I’ve never really understood the point of the balls in the small council meetings, but I gotta say, they’re so…satisfying? The little click they make when they put them in the little dish.
  5. I would legit just be clacking that thing around during the whole meeting, bothering everyone, and eventually leading to my ejection from the small council meeting.
  6. LONG-LAID PLANS???
  7. Oh Otto, you absolute prick.
  8. They’ve been scheming for years!
  9. I’m actually glad to see that Alicent is as pissed off as I am.
  10. TELL ‘EM OFF, LORD BEESBURY!
  11. Ooooooh buddy he is laying INTO them and it is SO satisfying.
  12. WHAT.
  13. THE.
  14. FUCK.
  15. Okay, how many people is Criston Cole allowed to murder without any consequences???????
  16. At least Beesbury went out like a boss, telling all these usurpers that they’re full of shit.
  17. Get him, Ser Harrold!
  18. Man, it would’ve been so satisfying to watch Ser Harrold beat Criston’s whiny butt.
  19. “The door remains shut until we finish our business.” DAMN that’s cold.
  20. Props to Graham McTavish for that scene, that last line read was so good.
  21. People reeeeeeally need to start listening to Helaena.
  22. And people need to stop listening to Otto. 
  23. At least, given all the crap we as fans have given Alicent, she’s trying desperately to make sure she gets to Aegon first so Rhaenyra isn’t murdered. Otto’s the real villain here.
  24. Unfortunately, our hopes and dreams rely on Ser Criston fucking Cole.
  25. Good for House Fell. You go House Fell.
  26. So, there are underground child slap-fights in Flea Bottom? 
  27. Lord Caswell alllllllmost made it.
  28. It was a good try, Lord Caswell.
  29. Tell her off, Rhaenys!
  30. “You should have been queen.” INNNNTERESTING.
  31. Does Alicent mean that, or is she just playing Rhaenys?
  32. She’s not wrong, though. Poor Viserys SHOULD have been a country lord. He was too kind and too soft to be a truly good king.
  33. What a SCENE between those two!
  34. I have to admit I’m not loving the “Where’s Aegon?” plot, but everything Alicent is doing is fascinating.
  35. Ahh, Mysaria is the White Worm.
  36. AEGON DOESN’T EVEN WANT IT.
  37. What is it with Aegons in this family and being like “I dun want it”?
  38. Ugh, Larys.
  39. Whoa, wait a minute.
  40. She’s been repaying him by showing her FEET?!
  41. Oh, ew ew EW.
  42. Literally, how did Larys even bring this up to her? I mean, granted, he can basically blackmail her because of the murder of the Strongs, but still, was he just like, “Let me jerk off to your feet”?
  43. Anyway, gross.
  44. SER ARRYK! Or Erryk. I have no idea which one this is. But good for him. And thank goodness Rhaenys is getting out of there.
  45. Amazing that Aegon is the only one in this family being like “Of course Viserys didn’t want me to be king, this is ridiculous.”
  46. Oh my god. They’re doing the coronation in the dragon pit. Oh my god.
  47. This face right here:
  48. There he is, King Dipshit himself.
  49. I think that’s the first smile we’ve seen from Alicent in several episodes.
  50. Allllllllll of this because of a misunderstanding.
  51. But wait, there’s more!
  52. Wait for the rumbling…
  53. BOOM!
  54. THERE IS A BEAST BENEATH THE BOARDS!
  55. C’mon Rhaenys, say “dracarys!”
  56. I know she won’t because then there would be no TV show, but wouldn’t it be great?
  57. Rhaenys just torches the entire Hightower family and that’s that.
  58. Y’know what? I’m just going to spend the next week pretending that’s what happened.

House Of The Dragon Episode 9 Thoughts Recap - 5 House Of The Dragon Episode 9 Thoughts Recap - 55