—u/simAlity “Absolutely. I hope he takes his new husband’s name when he gets married so he can see what a pain it is to change it.” —u/ravenclaw_blue “In part this speaks to male privilege. We’re expected to go through the rigmarole of changing our name and are then expected to change it back, but it’s actually a massive pain in the ass. Also, what if you have built a career under that name? Your hesitancy is completely understandable.” —u/StoreyTimePerson —u/Different-Leather359 “It’s customary that men demand women take on their last name and that the children also get the man’s last name. At that point, I think the man also needs to accept that in the event of a divorce, the woman might not want to change her identity or have a different last name than her kids. So men might start to consider taking on their wife’s last name if they have a problem with this, or come up with a different solution.” —u/Used_Grocery_9048 —u/CreativePrimary2572 “My ex demanded I drop his surname. I got nothing from our decadelong marriage. No alimony despite being a stay-at-home mom (yay, financial abuse), and no portion of the house. I kept his name because it’s the name I’m an established artist under. It also felt like the one shred of power I had in the situation.” —u/PolyPolyam
